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I'm the hostess of my friend's baby shower but I'm not exactly sure what is expected of me. What are my pre-baby shower obligations and what am I expected to say or do during the shower itself? Thanks in advance. -Verna

The first thing that I would like to say is that a baby shower is like a party. There aren't too many things that are expected of you, unlike when you are a bride's maid and hosting a bridal shower. Before the shower, all you will need to do is plan it, which can be a lot in itself.  This means that you will need to pick the venue, choose a theme, purchase the party supplies, plan the menu, hire anyone that is helping with the shower such as caterers and entertainers, and get all the invitation stuff done.  For more information on throwing a baby shower, I would recommend that you read our 8-Step Baby Shower Guide.

On the shower day, you are expected to host the baby shower. This means that you will greet guests, make arrangements for the mother to be so she is at the party, give out gift bags, run the games and serve the food.  You will also be in charge of keeping track of which guest gave which gift so the thank you cards can be sent out. 

For more information on how to host the baby shower, please read The Good Hostess Guide to Surviving a Baby Shower.


What are "green" (eco-friendly) baby showers?  How do you go about throwing one?

A green shower is a way to celebrate the new baby in an ecologically conscious fashion using organic food, eco-friendly cleaners before the big day and the mantra, “Reduce, Reuse and Recycle.  You decorate in eco-friendly ways such as plants bound with twine instead of inserted in florist foam.  Send out recycled paper invitations or plantable paper products (I love the whole idea around guests being able to grow flowers from their invitations) and encourage guests to buy green gifts and wrap in baby blankets instead of wrapping paper. For more on Green Baby Showers.


Do you need to do the silly bow hats for the expectant mother?

The answer is no, of course you don’t but why not take the opportunity to embarrass the mother to be.  After being the target of said hats, I am 100% positive that the only reason for the hat is to make the mother to feel a little uncomfortable and to allow for some blackmail photographs.  If you don’t want to have the hat, don’t feel that you need to. Instead, give her a corsage or a charm bracelet.


Hi! I am from Sweden and expecting my first baby. I like the idea of celebrating the birth of my daughter with a baby shower. Some of my friends have not really understood the concept of a baby shower, so basically I wonder how I explain to them; what is a baby shower and what is the main purpose? Thank you for your help and happy New Year! Best regards, Måne

Congratulations on expecting your first baby!  It is always a celebration to bring a new child into our lives and I think that it is wonderful that you would like to share it with your friends and family.

In regards to your question, a baby shower is simply a celebration.  You and your friends are enjoying some time together, before the baby or even after the baby arrives, to celebrate the new little life.  It is also a time to feel connected to friends and family and to simply enjoy time together.

Another purpose for a baby shower is to help the new parents out by offering them both baby gifts and advice.  A baby shower is rarely complete without a few experienced mothers (or even fathers at a Couples Shower) offering advice on everything from bathing to choosing the right schools.

The History of Baby Showers on our home page may also provide some good information. I hope that I have answered your questions but if you have more, please don't hesitate to ask.


I was wondering if there is a way to tell someone you are pregnant or lots of people in a riddle or game? -Shaniece

Thank you for contacting us with your questions.  When it comes to telling people that you are pregnant, there are a hundred different ways to do so.  Here are a few ways to tell people you are pregnant.

1. The Bun in the Oven:  This can be done in a variety of ways.  You could play charades, or pictogram. Start the game by choosing teams and then have them play the game in a normal manner for several turns.  Once it is your turn, start drawing a bun in the oven and then an arrow to you.  It may take a little bit but eventually they will understand that you have a bun in the oven. Another way to do the bun in the oven hint is by putting a bun in your oven and then asking a person to open up the oven door for some reason.  This could be as simple as "Could you help me with dinner by pulling out the food in the oven?"  or "I think something is wrong with the oven, can you check it?" 

2. I have a secret:  There are some really great t-shirts out there for pregnant women to announce the news.  The best one, in my opinion, is the one that says on the front, "I have a secret."  On the back are the words, "I'm pregnant."  You can wear the shirt to a family gathering but make sure you have a jacket on over it to cover up the back. People who are curious will ask you what your secret is and you can ask them to guess.  By the end of the evening, you can remove your jacket and then see how long people find out what your secret is.

3. Give the gift of candy:  Want to make it an even sweeter event, why not bring everyone a package of M&M's.  You can order specially printed ones that say, "I'm pregnant" or "We're expecting."  Once you give them to everyone, just sit back and wait for them to notice the words on the candy.

I hope that this is helpful but if you would like a few more ideas, please don't hesitate to ask. Congratulations!


My son and his wife had a baby last year in another state  where her family is.  This august will be the first visit to Texas where all my son's family is.  James will be 18 months old at this  time and I would like to have some type of party for him.  Someone  has mentioned a Peek a Boo party.  I know nothing of this and was  hoping you might have some answers. Thank you so much.

It is very rare that someone stumps me about a party but you have managed with the Peek a Boo party.  I am not sure exactly what it is and was thinking that it might be more of a "I see you," type of party where everyone is getting to know the baby instead or celebrating the big even as it is about to arrive.

Despite not knowing what a Peek-a-Boo shower is, there are a number of ways that you can have a shower for your grandson.  I would recommend having a couple's shower and making it a get to know you theme.  There you could have all of James's favorites from toys to treats and really decorate the place with all of his favorite things. When guests come into your home, they will immediately know a few things about the little boy that you are celebrating.

From there, keep the games light and really center them around kid play. Have toys out for all of the children and encourage the adults to get down on the floor.  As the day progresses, the adults can move to higher seats and simply share good food and good conversation.

Some ideas for having a shower after baby has arrived, I would recommend reading Baby as a Special Guest. This might give you a few ideas.


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